#Girrrrrrrl. #What.Is.Your.Malfunction? / #I.Repeat: #We.Will.Never.Ever.Ever.Ever.Be.Friends.

The speaker shares a story from a Reddit post about a woman’s experience with an intrusive new neighbor. Here is a summary of the events and the speaker’s commentary:

• The Setup: A 29-year-old woman and her 36-year-old husband have lived quietly on the edge of their apartment complex for five years. They are not social and keep to themselves.
• The New Neighbor: A new neighbor recently moved in down the street, signaled by the arrival of young children and several political signs that were the opposite of the original couple’s values.
• The Encounter: Two days ago, the new neighbor knocked on the couple’s door. The woman only opened it because she was expecting a package. The neighbor immediately began talking “a mile a minute,” introducing herself as a stay-at-home mom, and then began “peppering” the resident with intrusive personal questions about having children, social groups, and babysitting.
• The Response: The resident gave the neighbor “hard no” answers to her questions. When the neighbor complained that it seemed like the couple “don’t do much at all,” the resident laughed and suggested she go toward the center of the neighborhood to find her “tribe” among the other parents.
• The Confrontation: The neighbor became visibly angry when she realized the resident was not interested in being friends, coffee, or setting up playdates. Before storming off, the neighbor insulted the resident’s husband, to which the resident jokingly replied that her husband was indeed “a bigger one” than her.
• Speaker’s Perspective:
  • The speaker praised the writer for her wit and “shady” storytelling ability.
  • The speaker strongly defended the resident’s right to privacy, emphasizing that being alone does not make someone lonely.
  • The speaker criticized the neighbor for being intrusive and “bombarding” others, noting that it is inappropriate to ask strangers about their reproductive plans.
  • The speaker advised listeners to use delivery alerts for packages so they don’t have to open their doors to unwanted visitors.

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